Minimizing regret is hard but worth it
Regret is an awful feeling. The more we feel it, the less happy we are in the present.
Regret comes from failure to live up to our ideal self. Our ideal self is the person we aspire to be. It’s unique to each person and it often changes as we learn.
We feel regret when we make a decision that disappoints us. We can regret a decision to act (“action”). And we can regret a decision not to act (“inaction”).
The decisions we regret most are fear-based. This applies to both action and inaction. When we get scared, we experience fight-or-flight. Sometimes we fight and we do things we regret. Other times we flee and we avoid things we wish we had done.
In the short term, we typically regret our actions. And over the long term, we are more likely to regret our inaction. Recent research confirms this. It’s also supported by Bronnie Ware’s book on The Top Five Regrets of the Dying.
Over the last year or two, I’ve been experimenting with ways to minimize regret. It’s hard but worth it.
The following framework is beginning to emerge:
Clarify your ideal self
Control your emotional response to fear
Make decisions with your ideal self in mind, with a bias toward action over inaction
I’m interested in others' thoughts on this topic. This subject is far more complex than I realized.