Notes and Takeaways from The Power of Vulnerability with Brené Brown
Source: TED
When I watched it: May 2020.
Why I watched it: This TED talk was recommended by a friend. I’m interested in vulnerability’s impact on trust in relationships and teams. This is a (very) light overview of Brené Brown’s work on vulnerability.
Go to the video page for details and to watch or scroll down for my notes.
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My notes
About Brené Brown
Brené is a professor at the University of Houston and a visiting professor at The University of Texas at Austin. Since the early 2000s, she has studied courage, vulnerability, shame, and empathy. She’s the author of five #1 New York Times bestsellers, including Daring Greatly, and Dare to Lead.
If you can’t measure it, it does not exist.
Vulnerability = uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure.
Blame = a way to discharge pain and discomfort.
Shame = the fear of disconnection ⇒ “Is there something about me that if other people knew about it or saw it that I wouldn’t be worthy of connection?”
We all have shame (unless you have no capacity for empathy) ⇒ The less you talk about it the more you have it.
Connection (the ability to feel connected) is why we’re here ⇒ it’s how we are neurologically wired.
The one thing that keeps us from connection is not believing we are worthy of it.
Whole-hearted people have:
The courage to be imperfect (they are authentic)
The compassion to be kind to themselves first, and to others second (you can’t be compassionate with others until you find compassion for yourself)
Fully embrace vulnerability (they believed what makes them vulnerable makes them beautiful)
The willingness to be first when there are no guarantees (they put themselves at risk, e.g. being the first to say “I love you”)
Most of us:
Numb vulnerability ⇒ We are the most in debt, obese, addicted, and medicated adult-cohort in history (Note: when we numb bad feelings, we also numb the good ones… when we consume beer, meds, food, etc.)
Make the uncertain certain (e.g. religion, politics)
Try to perfect everything instead of accepting the imperfect as worthy of love and belonging (e.g. plastic surgery, children)
Pretend that what we do doesn’t have an effect on people (e.g. oil spills, recalls)
The solution is to:
Let our imperfect selves be seen (deeply and vulnerably)
Love with our whole hearts (even if there’s no guarantee)
Practice gratitude and lean into joy (grateful for all feelings)
Believe we are enough (we’re worthy of connection)